Question:
Hi, Thank you both for taking the time to reply to my post. You gave me hope. Sorry I was not able to post back here sooner. Anon, the day you posted that link I must have spent 2 hours reading afterwards. I had always thought of anxiety, depression, OCD, all of it, having to do with neurotransmitters (especially serotonin) and hadn’t a clue about the Hippocamus, the H-P-A Axis, stress hormones, or any of that. Fascinating stuff! Anyway, FF to the 22nd. I saw the doctor at the VA. I had printed out my post, gave it to him suggesting it might save some time and he talked to me for at least a half hour. He asked a lot about meds I had taken in the past. He didn’t seem to think I am depressed, that what he saw fit the picture of GAD – I didn’t think I was depressed either, especially after all I’d read online. I asked him about Depersonalization and he didn’t see anything like that. I told him everything and that Valium used to help but now not very much, that the anxiety comes on hard, like a locomotive, and how I felt like I was jumping out of my skin, and that it would be like that constantly. I felt very comfortable talking to him, it was more like a conversation than him asking deliberate questions and making me feel like he’s analyzing me. He put me on Buspar (buspirone), 10mg TID, I see him in 4 months, although he will accept walk-ins before noon. It’s going to be 3 weeks or more before I’ll really know whether it helps but I am optimistic. In a month or so, if it’s not under control I’ll go see him to try something else, or something in addition to the buspar. He was mildly hesitant about prescribing Valium but I asked him for a prescription before I left and he gave me 30 5mg a month. Hopefully soon I won’t need them. Thanks again for responding. Peace, ~J
Response:
You sound as though you’re suffering a great deal, and I’m glad you decided to seek some help. I have a friend who has recieved a considerable amount of psychiatric treatment at a Veteran’s Administration hospital, and he is MUCH better now than he ever was before, and I’ve known him for over 20 years. It never hurts to get a second opinion; you can make an appointment with a private psychiatry practice and see what they have to say. Not mandatory though. Hope you’re feeling better soon. Gary
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I signed up with the VA last year as private insurance was way too expensive and going up (to $675.00mo). I am a 45 year old male, recovering alcoholic (sobriety date Oct. 28, 2001), with Type 2 Diabetes and Peripheral Neuropathy. No other medical problems. I haven’t see a pdoc in years but throughout my life I’ve had various psychiatric diagnoses. As a kid, it was hyperactivity. Treated with dexedrine, amytal, and later, ritalin. Then depression around age 12. Was hospitalized for about a year and was on tofranil for a couple of years. Don’t know if it helped or not. As an adult, GAD. I don’t think I’m depressed but I do have a major anxiety problem. In recent months it has become terrible. Often I feel like I’m losing my mind. My head is always full of thoughts, songs, whatever. Sometimes It’s like a whirlwind. I am so self-conscious in public it’s ridiculous. I don’t get ‘panic attacks’, just terrible anxiety that’s always there. I feel intensely uncomfortable in my own skin, even when I am alone. Sometimes I feel like a robot, a zombie, when I’m in a store or walking around the supermarket, constantly thinking and aware of my uncomfortable-ness and feeling awkward about my body, how I am walking, whatever. As if anybody else is actually paying attention.. I go to a checkout counter and I just feel so uncomfortable, it can be excruciating. Fidgiting, feeling awkward, just wanting to get the f*** out of there. Again, I often feel this way even when I am home alone. I am not a morning person and often around dinnertime and afterwards the anxiety picks up, my eyes feel really big (if that makes any sense), and I just feel crazy, nervous, and it’s like my mind is spinning. I am extremely fidgety. Recently I was at a meeting and I was just in knots. For absolutely no reason. Underneath the desk my hands were so fidgity and I had to keep moving my legs moving around, adjusting position. When I’m like this I can barely look someone in the eye because I am so uncomfortable. I am often scatterbrained, and ALWAYS ’somewhere else’. That term pretty much describes the way my mind has always been. Always ’somewhere else’. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m not very good at describing it. I have done a lot of reading and investigating and other than GAD the only other things I’ve read about that sound familiar are depersonalization/derealization. I haven’t had the opportunity yet to ask a pdoc about this, but I finally have an appointment the 22nd of this month with a doc at the VA. I would appreciate very much if anyone who has felt as I have described (poorly I know but I’m terrible at describing things) would share their thoughts/experiences and what they think might be going on with me and what helped you. Also if anyone has experience with VA docs I would like to know what you think of them, their approach to this kind of thing and medications/treatment. Anything that might help me to understand what’s going on and how best to describe it to get help that will actually make a difference. ‘Obsessive thinking’ is a term a doctor mentioned once but I dismissed it. I thought it meant ‘thinking obsessively about something over and over.’ But from what I’ve read it really means simply ‘thinking too much’. Thinking too much, my mind always somewhere else, intense anxiety and feeling extremely uncomfortable in my own skin that’s just always there and not connected to any person (s), place, situation or location. That’s all me. I also tend to intellectualize in my thinking and as you may have noticed, have a hard time ‘getting to the point’. What exactly is a so-called ‘nervous breakdown’ anyway? Like I said, I feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes and whatever my problem is, it’s almost incapacitating at times. Please anyone, based on your own experience, help me to figure this out so I have a better chance when I see this pdoc to get an accurate diagnosis and whatever treatment/medication to get beyond the craziness. Valium (20 to 30mg) seems to be the only thing that has helped me at all but I don’t have any and when I can get it, only offers a little relief of anxiety, for a couple of hours at best and does nothing about the obsessive thinking, etc. What is wrong with me! ??? Sorry for writing such a long post. TIA, Peace & God bless, ~J
Response:
J-… Sorry to hear you are having so many problems. You aren’t alone. I don’t know what causes it, except from what I understand about stress, it builds up and begins causing us problems. I’ve had some of the adult symptoms you described, though maybe not to the same degree of feeling out of control. Don’t be sorry for the long post, I think you expressed yourself well. Doctors are telling me that accumulated stress is taking it’s toll on me. I may not feel depressed, but I’m showing signs of depression. Apparently, I have had some anxiety attacks. All of this is new to me and I’m still trying to understand. You can read up on stress and it’s affects on the body here http://www.nichd.nih.gov/new/releases/stress.cfm. Hopefully that will give you some insight. I think what you need to know is that there is a way to control the overproduction of chemicals that cause us to have anxiety. In my case it isn’t easy for me to accept that I need the meds, but I seem to be better off on them. At least for now. Hope this helps, Anon..
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I signed up with the VA last year as private insurance was way too expensive and going up (to $675.00mo). I am a 45 year old male, recovering alcoholic (sobriety date Oct. 28, 2001), with Type 2 Diabetes and Peripheral Neuropathy. No other medical problems. I haven’t see a pdoc in years but throughout my life I’ve had various psychiatric diagnoses. As a kid, it was hyperactivity. Treated with dexedrine, amytal, and later, ritalin. Then depression around age 12. Was hospitalized for about a year and was on tofranil for a couple of years. Don’t know if it helped or not. As an adult, GAD. I don’t think I’m depressed but I do have a major anxiety problem. In recent months it has become terrible. Often I feel like I’m losing my mind. My head is always full of thoughts, songs, whatever. Sometimes It’s like a whirlwind. I am so self-conscious in public it’s ridiculous. I don’t get ‘panic attacks’, just terrible anxiety that’s always there. I feel intensely uncomfortable in my own skin, even when I am alone. Sometimes I feel like a robot, a zombie, when I’m in a store or walking around the supermarket, constantly thinking and aware of my uncomfortable-ness and feeling awkward about my body, how I am walking, whatever. As if anybody else is actually paying attention.. I go to a checkout counter and I just feel so uncomfortable, it can be excruciating. Fidgiting, feeling awkward, just wanting to get the f*** out of there. Again, I often feel this way even when I am home alone. I am not a morning person and often around dinnertime and afterwards the anxiety picks up, my eyes feel really big (if that makes any sense), and I just feel crazy, nervous, and it’s like my mind is spinning. I am extremely fidgety. Recently I was at a meeting and I was just in knots. For absolutely no reason. Underneath the desk my hands were so fidgity and I had to keep moving my legs moving around, adjusting position. When I’m like this I can barely look someone in the eye because I am so uncomfortable. I am often scatterbrained, and ALWAYS ’somewhere else’. That term pretty much describes the way my mind has always been. Always ’somewhere else’. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m not very good at describing it. I have done a lot of reading and investigating and other than GAD the only other things I’ve read about that sound familiar are depersonalization/derealization. I haven’t had the opportunity yet to ask a pdoc about this, but I finally have an appointment the 22nd of this month with a doc at the VA. I would appreciate very much if anyone who has felt as I have described (poorly I know but I’m terrible at describing things) would share their thoughts/experiences and what they think might be going on with me and what helped you. Also if anyone has experience with VA docs I would like to know what you think of them, their approach to this kind of thing and medications/treatment. Anything that might help me to understand what’s going on and how best to describe it to get help that will actually make a difference. ‘Obsessive thinking’ is a term a doctor mentioned once but I dismissed it. I thought it meant ‘thinking obsessively about something over and over.’ But from what I’ve read it really means simply ‘thinking too much’. Thinking too much, my mind always somewhere else, intense anxiety and feeling extremely uncomfortable in my own skin that’s just always there and not connected to any person (s), place, situation or location. That’s all me. I also tend to intellectualize in my thinking and as you may have noticed, have a hard time ‘getting to the point’. What exactly is a so-called ‘nervous breakdown’ anyway? Like I said, I feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes and whatever my problem is, it’s almost incapacitating at times. Please anyone, based on your own experience, help me to figure this out so I have a better chance when I see this pdoc to get an accurate diagnosis and whatever treatment/medication to get beyond the craziness. Valium (20 to 30mg) seems to be the only thing that has helped me at all but I don’t have any and when I can get it, only offers a little relief of anxiety, for a couple of hours at best and does nothing about the obsessive thinking, etc. What is wrong with me! ??? Sorry for writing such a long post. TIA, Peace & God bless, ~J
Response:
I signed up with the VA last year as private insurance was way too expensive and going up (to $675.00mo). I am a 45 year old male, recovering alcoholic (sobriety date Oct. 28, 2001), with Type 2 Diabetes and Peripheral Neuropathy. No other medical problems. I haven’t see a pdoc in years but throughout my life I’ve had various psychiatric diagnoses. As a kid, it was hyperactivity. Treated with dexedrine, amytal, and later, ritalin. Then depression around age 12. Was hospitalized for about a year and was on tofranil for a couple of years. Don’t know if it helped or not. As an adult, GAD. I don’t think I’m depressed but I do have a major anxiety problem. In recent months it has become terrible. Often I feel like I’m losing my mind. My head is always full of thoughts, songs, whatever. Sometimes It’s like a whirlwind. I am so self-conscious in public it’s ridiculous. I don’t get ‘panic attacks’, just terrible anxiety that’s always there. I feel intensely uncomfortable in my own skin, even when I am alone. Sometimes I feel like a robot, a zombie, when I’m in a store or walking around the supermarket, constantly thinking and aware of my uncomfortable-ness and feeling awkward about my body, how I am walking, whatever. As if anybody else is actually paying attention.. I go to a checkout counter and I just feel so uncomfortable, it can be excruciating. Fidgiting, feeling awkward, just wanting to get the f*** out of there. Again, I often feel this way even when I am home alone. I am not a morning person and often around dinnertime and afterwards the anxiety picks up, my eyes feel really big (if that makes any sense), and I just feel crazy, nervous, and it’s like my mind is spinning. I am extremely fidgety. Recently I was at a meeting and I was just in knots. For absolutely no reason. Underneath the desk my hands were so fidgity and I had to keep moving my legs moving around, adjusting position. When I’m like this I can barely look someone in the eye because I am so uncomfortable. I am often scatterbrained, and ALWAYS ’somewhere else’. That term pretty much describes the way my mind has always been. Always ’somewhere else’. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m not very good at describing it. I have done a lot of reading and investigating and other than GAD the only other things I’ve read about that sound familiar are depersonalization/derealization. I haven’t had the opportunity yet to ask a pdoc about this, but I finally have an appointment the 22nd of this month with a doc at the VA. I would appreciate very much if anyone who has felt as I have described (poorly I know but I’m terrible at describing things) would share their thoughts/experiences and what they think might be going on with me and what helped you. Also if anyone has experience with VA docs I would like to know what you think of them, their approach to this kind of thing and medications/treatment. Anything that might help me to understand what’s going on and how best to describe it to get help that will actually make a difference. ‘Obsessive thinking’ is a term a doctor mentioned once but I dismissed it. I thought it meant ‘thinking obsessively about something over and over.’ But from what I’ve read it really means simply ‘thinking too much’. Thinking too much, my mind always somewhere else, intense anxiety and feeling extremely uncomfortable in my own skin that’s just always there and not connected to any person (s), place, situation or location. That’s all me. I also tend to intellectualize in my thinking and as you may have noticed, have a hard time ‘getting to the point’. What exactly is a so-called ‘nervous breakdown’ anyway? Like I said, I feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes and whatever my problem is, it’s almost incapacitating at times. Please anyone, based on your own experience, help me to figure this out so I have a better chance when I see this pdoc to get an accurate diagnosis and whatever treatment/medication to get beyond the craziness. Valium (20 to 30mg) seems to be the only thing that has helped me at all but I don’t have any and when I can get it, only offers a little relief of anxiety, for a couple of hours at best and does nothing about the obsessive thinking, etc. What is wrong with me! ??? Sorry for writing such a long post. TIA, Peace & God bless, ~J
Response:
The risk of diabetes and cataracts is real. If you don`t feel comfortable taking this medication, then ask your doctor to try something else. If this were me, I would ask to try another benzo, such as xanax or ativan. You were getting a postive response from the klonopin, even though it was making you very sleepy. Another plus of trying a different benzo is you won`t have to worry about diabetes and cataracts. Good luck!! Jackie ~*~When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it~*~ ~~ Bernard Bailey — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm 