Question:
any disorder of the psyche or soma-one can find some traumatic event in everyones life that may be used to explain all kinds of things but rarely can this be shown to actually be the clinical etiological epiphany that created whatever we want to use it as *blame* for
I’m looking for *understanding* of my "disorder". And not to blame someone. Chip p.s. I read an article (online) in the New Yorker Magazine about the man who persuaded the group that creates the DSM to stop using the term "neurosis" and replace it with "disorder". I think this occured about 1980 with the DSM III. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
um….to sum up quickly, yes. -z-
that was quick! 
Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip I was a happy child in a very liberal environment. I was a happy adult in a very liberal environment (more liberal than my employers liked!). Then one day in my thirties the sledgehammer that is panic hit me.
Why do you think it hit you, Simon? Something horrible had happened but it was then, not as a child.
what happened? Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen.
Yes I think it’s a nature *and* nurture type thing. Even schizophrenia is supposed to have ties to the ones upbringing. Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Yes I think it’s a nature *and* nurture type thing. Even schizophrenia is supposed to have ties to the ones upbringing.
not a snowballs chance in Hell-it is purely a biophysiological anomaly that has a high level of familial genetics involved-a schizophrenigenic mother is one who actually has schizophrenia Tony
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
any disorder of the psyche or soma-one can find some traumatic event in everyones life that may be used to explain all kinds of things but rarely can this be shown to actually be the clinical etiological epiphany that created whatever we want to use it as *blame* for I’m looking for *understanding* of my "disorder". And not to blame someone.
then start with your domineering criticizing Father and how you reacted to him. The conflicts he created could have altered your ability to perceive information and process it rationally. A child cannot fathom beyond the "truth" of paternal or maternal criticism-they begin to define themselves by that "truth" it becomes a spectrum disorder or "epicenter" of their psyche-anger, frustration and hatred that is then turned into guilt can all be fertile grounds for anxiety-look at your relationship with him -his demands, his iron fisted rule and your more natural tendency to seek approval and love. Those summers at the beach were the archetypical good times for you-your grandparents seem to have provided a more stable nurturing atmosphere for you-this is what you craved from your parents-perhaps maybe seeking a few turns with a new age psychodynamic style therapist may help you find out what you are looking for Chip p.s. I read an article (online) in the New Yorker Magazine about the man who persuaded the group that creates the DSM to stop using the term "neurosis" and replace it with "disorder". I think this occured about 1980 with the DSM III.
I see it this way: One can be neurotic and not disordered but one who is disordered is usually severely neurotic, or suffering from a plethora of any number of other ails- my definition of neurosis is smart people acting stupid-disorder is a breakdown in ones ability to function in a viable manner in a society-the dsm is a wonderful but entirely too reductionistic a compendeum of symptom specific diseases and disorders-rarely are things so black and white-we can use a larger scope of definitions that are not so "bleak and dark" as calling neurotic people "disordered" — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip
My parents never argued, but I can imagine that’s one bad environment to grow up in. My issues came later on, partially from heredity and partially from abuse. It was helpful for me to understand that. It was also helpful for me to let it go once I understood it. Can’t fix it. The damage was done years ago by people as sick or sicker than I am.. so what? That’s called life.. and shit happens, and it didn’t just happen to me, stuff like that’s been going on since the beginning of families. I don’t even know of any families that are NOT dysfunctional, to some extent. I do think it helped me very much to understand why – mainly, because I had blamed me for other people’s problems for a long time. Decades.. But if you can’t let it go, then you are up the creek with the knowledge of who did what to you when. There is a danger of getting – and even staying very angry and bitter if you come to an understanding but do not follow it up with forgiving, letting go and moving forward. Life’s short. Too short to spend it angry and miserable over old crap. It is good to understand, but it is good to move forward after you do and let it be. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I’m looking for *understanding* of my "disorder". And not to blame someone. then start with your domineering criticizing Father and how you reacted to him.
I often react to other people as though they are him. IOW they are potential criticizers (critics) of me. The conflicts he created could have altered your ability to perceive information and process it rationally. A child cannot fathom beyond the "truth" of paternal or maternal criticism-they begin to define themselves by that "truth" it becomes a spectrum disorder or "epicenter" of their psyche-anger, frustration and hatred that is then turned into guilt can all be fertile grounds for anxiety-look at your relationship with him -his demands, his iron fisted rule and your more natural tendency to seek approval and love.
When he died last summer I don’t think I felt any loss. Or very much loss. It was like there was nothing there to lose. I remember feeling somewhat relieved. There would be no more devastating criticisms from him coming from out of the blue. His father died when he (my father) was a cadet at West Point. He told my mother he didn’t care whether his father lived or died. So this stuff is starting to repeat itself. Those summers at the beach were the archetypical good times for you-your grandparents
mostly my grandmother. My grandfather was back in Philly most of the time running a business. seem to have provided a more stable nurturing atmosphere for you
My grandmother didn’t criticize me. And she was loving. -this is what you craved from your parents-
As a child I had this fantasy that I might have to choose who would live or die. My mother or my grandmother. I always decided my mother would have to go :) good thing humor is a "mature" defense mechanism :) p.s. I read an article (online) in the New Yorker Magazine about the man who persuaded the group that creates the DSM to stop using the term "neurosis" and replace it with "disorder". I think this occured about 1980 with the DSM III. I see it this way: One can be neurotic and not disordered
Like Woody Allen? And all those Hollywood figures? Paris Hilton? Brittney Spears? but one who is disordered is usually severely neurotic, or suffering from a plethora of any number of other ails
I have all kinds of symptoms, phobias, obsessions, compulsions. – my definition of neurosis is smart people acting stupid- disorder is a breakdown in ones ability to function in a viable manner in a society
That’s consistent with the DSM. -the dsm is a wonderful but entirely too reductionistic a compendeum of symptom specific diseases and disorders-rarely are things so black and white-we can use a larger scope of definitions that are not so "bleak and dark" as calling neurotic people "disordered"
http://www.pdm1.org/ "In focusing on the full range of mental functioning, the PDM complements the DSM and ICD efforts in cataloguing symptoms. It systematically describes: ***Healthy and disordered personality functioning ***Individual profiles of mental functioning , including patterns of relating, comprehending, and expressing feelings, coping with stress and anxiety, observing one’s own emotions and behaviors, and forming moral judgments ***Symptom patterns , including differences in each individual’s personal or subjective experience of his or her symptoms" I received the above PDM (manual) in the mail yesterday. It’s interesting reading. Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen.
My current therapist gave me this just after I started seeing her. I was pretty surprised at how much I related to it. I never really believed myself to be a victim of "trauma", I was never abused or witnessed abuse, I was just consistently treated negatively by my family and step-parents. It goes to show that trauma can mean a lot of things. http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/edu_materials/ComplexTrauma_… — David Chamberlain – ASAPM Moderator | Support for anxiety or panic disorders. Check us out! | | alt.support.anxiety-panic.moderated http://stump.algebra.com/~asapm | — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Yes I think it’s a nature *and* nurture type thing. Even schizophrenia is supposed to have ties to the ones upbringing. not a snowballs chance in Hell-it is purely a biophysiological anomaly that has a high level of familial genetics involved-a schizophrenigenic mother is one who actually has schizophrenia
Many agree with you, and many don’t. 1) http://www.mentalhealthchannel.net/schizophrenia/causes.shtml "Environmental factors and stress are thought to trigger the onset of schizophrenia. For example, moving, troubled relationships, problems at work, or substance abuse may aggravate the constellation of risk factors and lead to psychosis." 2) http://www.schizophrenia.com/hypo.php "Although the exact cause of schizophrenia remains unknown, experts agree that schizophrenia develops as a result of interplay between biological predisposition (for example, inheriting certain genes) and the kind of environment you are exposed to." 3) http://www.umm.edu/ency/article/000928.htm "Some researchers believe that events in a person’s environment may trigger schizophrenia." 4) http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/thought_disorders/schizo/nimh… "There is no known single cause of schizophrenia. Many diseases, such as heart disease, result from an interplay of genetic, behavioral, and other factors; and this may be the case for schizophrenia as well" 5) http://www.medicinenet.com/schizophrenia/page4.htm#35whatare "Like many other illnesses, schizophrenia is believed to result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors." 6) http://www.aurorahealthcare.org/yourhealth/healthgate/getcontent.asp?… "Risk factors for schizophrenia include biological, psychosocial, environmental, and sociocultural factors." OK, I’m tired of cutting and pasting. Like I wrote "Even schizophrenia is supposed to have ties to the ones upbringing." Here you have many examples that show why I wrote that. I could go on showing thousands of similar statements, and of course you could reply with thousands of people who don’t believe it. I don’t pretend to know the answer, just sharing information. Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip Good question Chip!! I think my anxiety is mostly genetic,
which genes get expressed depends on environment. That’s why one identical twin gets panic disorder and the other doesn’t. They have identical genes. but having a typical Irish childhood didn’t help either – we are not great at dealing with our emotions and tend to bottle them up and pretend they don’t exist.
I didn’t know that about the Irish, TJ. Then the social environment may have been a factor with you. Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ::Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? :: ::My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like ::something horrible was about to happen. I’m positive that it played a huge part in developing an anxiety disorder. I also think there are some genetics involved as well. Me, my sisters and my mom have all been on anti-depressants. My mom also told me that my dad didn’t like crowds, parties or noise. Jackie ~*~"What I cannot love, I overlook."~*~ ~~ Anais Nin — The charter is available at:http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm i believe so chip…just before i started having panic attacks at age 12, there where alot of deaths in the family,
That’s alot of loss, Russ. I had my first PA after losing a girlfriend in college. But I only had 1 PA. I had the onset of panic disorder about 1 1/2 years later. my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and my father’s epilepsy started getting worse. im all of this to a sensitive child was alot,
I’m sensitive, or overly-sensitive and left me with a sense of insecurity. when i started having panic, i was to afraid to tell anyone cause i honestly thought i would be put in a mental institution.
I saw a psychiatrist for a year and never told her about my PAs. I was afraid she’d put me in a mental hospital. this really left me with a sense of learned helplessness
or someone never gave you a model of how to help yourself that i struggle with to this day. my parents also were to wrapped up in their own problems to notice mine.
Same story here. Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. I can see why it would make you feel insecure. It is my belief that many things which happen in childhood have a profound effect on future
problems. Mary, I’m just beginning to see how profound the effect is. To me, how can it be otherwise? When I get depressed , I feel exactly the same as when I was a child due to feelings of loneliness and insecurity. My father died when I was very young which had a huge impact on my life and shaped much of it. My mother, by necessity had to work and was not at home a lot due to long work hours. My depression was definitely exacerbated by later life events. My mother was not a depressed person nor did she have anxiety attacks and nobody on my father’s side did that I know of.
neither of my parents had anxiety attacks, although my father got depressed in his later years. I have always had more trouble with depression than anxiety, but in the last 5 years, I have had times of situational anxiety/phobias. Depression and anxiety are very often linked.
They do seem to go together. Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip
I know mine is. My mom was always really hard on me and made me feel like I could never do anything right. She berated me to the point where I was afraid to make friends, afraid to go anywhere. She kept calling me ugly and said terrible things to me. It’s a long story, but it really cut into my self-confidence. I started to feel like I couldn’t do anything at all and I just wanted to die. I know her verbal abuse played a huge factor in my anxiety problem. (Funny thing is that now she suffers from anxiety, too! HA! Payback. <g) kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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My parents were always arguing also. Many periods of them not speaking for days on end… It was an insecure and anxiety producing environment to grow up in. Always walking on egg shells… I was anxious as a child and my anxiety only intensified as I got older. smiles, Elise
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems?
Their actions definitely played a role in my present situation. Hell, all three of us siblings are all screwed up in one way or another and the only commonality between us is our parents. — Ron P Member of the invisible generation — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
um….to sum up quickly, yes. -z-
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? yes it wasn’t long enough My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. but what was different in you,compared to the other 100 million or so kids that didn’t respond in any negative way to their parents sparring? What is different between the child that experiences some severe loss and just goes on with their life then those that develop an obstacle in their growth? I have pondered the above question many times in my life. The only conclusion I could ever come to was that all children’s personalities are different and belong to them uniquely.
yes-but now let’s get even more reductionistic and try to see what creates ones personality-what is that thing that makes each of us an individual-are we born tabula rasa or a blank slate or do we have innate personalities Some children can overcome traumatic events such as severe losses like the early loss of a parent as in my case and others struggle with such childhood events all their lives. Its the same as saying why can some people cope with crises, but others sink and are lost?
yes-so why? What is it within each of us that enables us to get past trauma no matter how trivial or profound why do some alcoholics/addicts manage to see they will die if they continue on a downward spiral, but others continue on knowing it it is killing them? I knew a 45 year old man qute well, who died a year ago. He was alcoholic, and had been drinking since an early age. He had a good job, he was smart, good looking, married with two children, seemed to have it all. He eventually lost everything he had ever worked for and valued, put himself and his family through hell, yet was not able to save himself. He was warned by doctors that he would not live a long life if he continued on his present path. He said he didn’t care and that he had no intention to stop drinking. So the question arises -Why wasn’t he able to stop his addiction the same as many others do?
it appears that some people are more prone to a more crippling uncontrollable chemical dependency regardless of its consequences-this is why alcoholism and drug abuse are now seen as "diseases"-we don’t have any tabgible cure for them but many treatments-if you closely examine the aa type program you may see some evidence of loosely based cbt and theological or spiritual support and security They can see they are sinking and somewhere along the way, realize they want to live. Why did he not get that same warning voice from within? I see it as an unanswerable question with no solution and no acceptable or satisfactory answer.
I don’t see any acceptable or satisfactory answer to much of humanity’s ills, but I do not cease trying to make some sense of it I could view my childhood as magical and wonderous or traumatic-it, like most of life was both. We seem to have the propensity to develop some rather carefully designed perceptual distortions-we have the natural tendency to then assign the development of these distortions to either our genes or our parents treatment of us-there is one more facet to this equation-ourselves. Wouldn’t that be because a child does not have the ability and thought development to figure things out around him/her?
exactly-but we do now-so one can then postulate that just because when Mommy and Daddy yelled at each other I was miserable and scared and afraid we would all die-we don’t still subscribe to such sillyness-we may wish they would die to just shut up, but we can differentiate the mundane from the truly catastrophic or tragic-we may have learned to develop a "style" of thinking based on childhood and irrational logic that follows us throughout our life, but it is a learned behavior, that can be unlearned-so then we can conclude that I may have been affected by my childhood in my childhood and early youth, but no longer-my anxiety today may have habituated patterns learned early-but I can make new habitual patterns that override the old one. That part of our existence that is part of who we are and processes information like a dyslexic child trying to read. This hard wired aspect of our brains and nervous system seems to be the curmudgeon that somehow becomes the ghost in the machine-the driving force behind why one child in the same family becomes anxious and the others react more realistically to their external and internal world. Could it be the difference in individual’s nature, or personalilty or coping patterns which are different? Some people seem to be over-sensitive from birth and others are not. I have seen this in my own children. They are all very different in what they can tolerate and what they can’t. Yet they all went through the same difficult times and traumas within my family.
yes, most definitely-my point exactly calling it a sort of dyslexic mode of thinking-that inability to learn how to cope, to assimilate information from our environment, filter it through our perceptual and cognitive systems and make a rational conclusion-we know our panic attack will not kill us-we wish it would already, but this for-knowledge doesn’t prevent panic or even make us feel better about experiencing it. The anxiety sufferer has this hard wired inability to make certain types of inferences and generalizations that are more realistic, rational, and not negative fearful and overly hysterical-this can be seen in some young children-some seem to outgrow it, others not-it is those who don’t who may then develop a more long standing anxiety problem. I don’t really see this hard wiring issue as purley genetic or purely learned or purely environmentally produced or influenced-I think it is a combination of all these things sort of coming together in this time and space continuum, like the starts all getting aligned in the right way for the wrong reasons and voila, you get a person who has taken some flawed, hypersensitive portion of their brain and then magnified it through many other processes and experiences and allowed it through no fault of their own, to become "who they are" they bgein to define their very existance based upon their limitations and somatic perceptions, they increase their inability to tolerate discomfort, frustration and pain-they become even more sensitized-anywho that’s my take on this – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -We learn things through various means, some things we already have learned via how our brain is configured-we can use that same brain to reconfigure things differently-see our Father’s abuse as the behavior of a sick person rather then our fault and a reflection on our being, our self worth, our ability to be loved or to succeed. Becoming conditioned to expect awful things to happen can rarely be truly a reinforceable behavior since those awful thnigs don’t usually happen anyway; and even if they did, what was the pay off of the worry or the unrealistic expectation of doom? The whole concept of our upbringing being the catalyst to secure a lifetime of mental anguish seems rather faulty an argument and an even faultier neurology-if fearing doom kept it from occuring, or allowed us to desensitize ourselves from it, then it would make more sense. If according to some dynamic theorists we become developmentally stunted by becoming stuck prior to the bloom of adult autonomy, then we would all be stuck and all be either significanlty depressed or anxious-our childhood can be a profound historical event, but it does not need to be a percursor to anything beyond that past and many times is not-when it is, there is a more biologically based etiology with a deep level of twisted belief systems that may be seen as dyslexic and grossly erroneous. A revelation to some people in retrospect but not by all ?
I don’t go for any revelations in anyone but myself, I try and get others to see beyond what may appear to be obvious, or not obvious if the case may be that as well-I have anxiety, I will have it and nothing I can do will get rid of it-so I need to learn how to live with it and not allow it to rule my life more then I choose to-no one or no thing is to blame for this-but I am responsible to myself for doing what I can to help myself. Serotonin, bad parental behaviors, bad teachers, lousy marriages, lousy friends, unfair world events, nothing causes ones anxiety-they may contribute to ones discomfort and certainly sustaine ones anxiety if we do not learn how to deal with our thoughts and beliefs about these things-if we foster anger towards our third grade teacher or our Mothers or ourselves we only are left with anger plus anxiety-if we beat ourselves up for being so disturbed or emotionally powerless or worthless (all neurotic beliefs by the way) then we will become depressed and still have anxiety (but we may feel the depression as more acute) The bottom line is that no one thing makes us what we are and no one thing can exlpain why we have any disorder of the psyche or soma-one can find some traumatic event in everyones life that may be used to explain all kinds of things but rarely can this be shown to actually be the clinical etiological epiphany that created whatever we want to use it as blame for-so my point is, if we ask if our past has any bearing on our present-we can answer both yes and no-but much more important is what can we do to improve our present and try and secure our future-we can learn from history but we don’t "have to" be ruled by it – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Mary Evolution is not always linear, it jumps across
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Response:
My parents were always arguing too, Chip, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it had something to do with the way I am today. Sorry you had to go through that too. Hugs, Di
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen.
I can see why it would make you feel insecure. It is my belief that many things which happen in childhood have a profound effect on future problems. To me, how can it be otherwise? When I get depressed , I feel exactly the same as when I was a child due to feelings of loneliness and insecurity. My father died when I was very young which had a huge impact on my life and shaped much of it. My mother, by necessity had to work and was not at home a lot due to long work hours. My depression was definitely exacerbated by later life events. My mother was not a depressed person nor did she have anxiety attacks and nobody on my father’s side did that I know of. I have always had more trouble with depression than anxiety, but in the last 5 years, I have had times of situational anxiety/phobias. Depression and anxiety are very often linked. Mary — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems?
yes it wasn’t long enough My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen.
but what was different in you,compared to the other 100 million or so kids that didn’t respond in any negative way to their parents sparring? What is different between the child that experiences some severe loss and just goes on with their life then those that develop an obstacle in their growth? I could view my childhood as magical and wonderous or traumatic-it, like most of life was both. We seem to have the propensity to develop some rather carefully designed perceptual distortions-we have the natural tendency to then assign the development of these distortions to either our genes or our parents treatment of us-there is one more facet to this equation-ourselves. That part of our existence that is part of who we are and processes information like a dyslexic child trying to read. This hard wired aspect of our brains and nervous system seems to be the curmudgeon that somehow becomes the ghost in the machine-the driving force behind why one child in the same family becomes anxious and the others react more realistically to their external and internal world. We learn things through various means, some things we already have learned via how our brain is configured-we can use that same brain to reconfigure things differently-see our Father’s abuse as the behavior of a sick person rather then our fault and a reflection on our being, our self worth, our ability to be loved or to succeed. Becoming conditioned to expect awful things to happen can rarely be truly a reinforceable behavior since those awful thnigs don’t usually happen anyway; and even if they did, what was the pay off of the worry or the unrealistic expectation of doom? The whole concept of our upbringing being the catalyst to secure a lifetime of mental anguish seems rather faulty an argument and an even faultier neurology-if fearing doom kept it from occuring, or allowed us to desensitize ourselves from it, then it would make more sense. If according to some dynamic theorists we become developmentally stunted by becoming stuck prior to the bloom of adult autonomy, then we would all be stuck and all be either significanlty depressed or anxious-our childhood can be a profound historical event, but it does not need to be a percursor to anything beyond that past and many times is not-when it is, there is a more biologically based etiology with a deep level of twisted belief systems that may be seen as dyslexic and grossly erroneous. Evolution is not always linear, it jumps across divides-there is a starting point anthropologically to anxiety-the things that make it sustained and chronic are the verbal pictorial processes that ruminates on those idee fix self perpetuating philosophies that spin in their irrational circles Chip
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? yes it wasn’t long enough My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. but what was different in you,compared to the other 100 million or so kids that didn’t respond in any negative way to their parents sparring? What is different between the child that experiences some severe loss and just goes on with their life then those that develop an obstacle in their growth?
I have pondered the above question many times in my life. The only conclusion I could ever come to was that all children’s personalities are different and belong to them uniquely. Some children can overcome traumatic events such as severe losses like the early loss of a parent as in my case and others struggle with such childhood events all their lives. Its the same as saying why can some people cope with crises, but others sink and are lost? why do some alcoholics/addicts manage to see they will die if they continue on a downward spiral, but others continue on knowing it it is killing them? I knew a 45 year old man qute well, who died a year ago. He was alcoholic, and had been drinking since an early age. He had a good job, he was smart, good looking, married with two children, seemed to have it all. He eventually lost everything he had ever worked for and valued, put himself and his family through hell, yet was not able to save himself. He was warned by doctors that he would not live a long life if he continued on his present path. He said he didn’t care and that he had no intention to stop drinking. So the question arises -Why wasn’t he able to stop his addiction the same as many others do? They can see they are sinking and somewhere along the way, realize they want to live. Why did he not get that same warning voice from within? I see it as an unanswerable question with no solution and no acceptable or satisfactory answer. I could view my childhood as magical and wonderous or traumatic-it, like most of life was both. We seem to have the propensity to develop some rather carefully designed perceptual distortions-we have the natural tendency to then assign the development of these distortions to either our genes or our parents treatment of us-there is one more facet to this equation-ourselves.
Wouldn’t that be because a child does not have the ability and thought development to figure things out around him/her? That part of our existence that is part of who we are and processes information like a dyslexic child trying to read. This hard wired aspect of our brains and nervous system seems to be the curmudgeon that somehow becomes the ghost in the machine-the driving force behind why one child in the same family becomes anxious and the others react more realistically to their external and internal world.
Could it be the difference in individual’s nature, or personalilty or coping patterns which are different? Some people seem to be over-sensitive from birth and others are not. I have seen this in my own children. They are all very different in what they can tolerate and what they can’t. Yet they all went through the same difficult times and traumas within my family. We learn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – things through various means, some things we already have learned via how our brain is configured-we can use that same brain to reconfigure things differently-see our Father’s abuse as the behavior of a sick person rather then our fault and a reflection on our being, our self worth, our ability to be loved or to succeed. Becoming conditioned to expect awful things to happen can rarely be truly a reinforceable behavior since those awful thnigs don’t usually happen anyway; and even if they did, what was the pay off of the worry or the unrealistic expectation of doom? The whole concept of our upbringing being the catalyst to secure a lifetime of mental anguish seems rather faulty an argument and an even faultier neurology-if fearing doom kept it from occuring, or allowed us to desensitize ourselves from it, then it would make more sense. If according to some dynamic theorists we become developmentally stunted by becoming stuck prior to the bloom of adult autonomy, then we would all be stuck and all be either significanlty depressed or anxious-our childhood can be a profound historical event, but it does not need to be a percursor to anything beyond that past and many times is not-when it is, there is a more biologically based etiology with a deep level of twisted belief systems that may be seen as dyslexic and grossly erroneous.
A revelation to some people in retrospect but not by all ? Mary Evolution is not always linear, it jumps across divides-there is a starting point anthropologically to anxiety-the things that make it sustained and chronic are the verbal pictorial processes that ruminates on those idee fix self perpetuating philosophies that spin in their irrational circles
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ::Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? :: ::My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like ::something horrible was about to happen. I’m positive that it played a huge part in developing an anxiety disorder. I also think there are some genetics involved as well. Me, my sisters and my mom have all been on anti-depressants. My mom also told me that my dad didn’t like crowds, parties or noise. Jackie ~*~"What I cannot love, I overlook."~*~ ~~ Anais Nin — The charter is available at:http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
i believe so chip…just before i started having panic attacks at age 12, there where alot of deaths in the family, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and my father’s epilepsy started getting worse. im all of this to a sensitive child was alot, and left me with a sense of insecurity. when i started having panic, i was to afraid to tell anyone cause i honestly thought i would be put in a mental institution. this really left me with a sense of learned helplessness that i struggle with to this day. my parents also were to wrapped up in their own problems to notice mine. russ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip
Good question Chip!! I think my anxiety is mostly genetic, but having a typical Irish childhood didn’t help either – we are not great at dealing with our emotions and tend to bottle them up and pretend they don’t exist. — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think your childhood is related to your current emotional problems? My parents were always arguing, and that made me feel insecure, like something horrible was about to happen. Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
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I tried for years to shut that door, but a small dose of Xanax really does the trick. Like I posted earlier, my concentration is down, but now, what little I have left, is used pretty well without distraction. Good Luck! — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm